Those commercials on TV advertising Ancestry.com are telling the truth – it is surprising what you might find in your genealogy! Using some software called “Family Tree Maker” and connecting to Ancestry.com, I started tracing my family tree through Mom and Dad.

I already knew on my Dad’s side of the family our ancestors came from Ireland in the 1800′s (probably during the famine) and specifically from a guy named Alexander Farris. It appears he packed up his wife and 8 kids and moved everyone to South Carolina. From there the family migrated west and even married a Native American woman, which is where the Cherokee Indian features that are in my family come from. Sure enough, the records found through Family Tree Maker confirmed all of this and even added a few more details. Here’s a few pictures from my trip to Ireland in 2005…

But the exciting part – the part I did not know until now – is I’m not too far removed from a few famous people including George Washington!

Cousin George

On my mother’s side of the family, way down the line there are lots of ancestors from England including a Knight by the name of Henry Spencer and his wife Isabella gave birth to 3 sons. They must have had some excellent DNA because their 3 sons went on to produced Winston Churchill, FDR, Princess Diana, and several other famous people.

One of those sons was Thomas Spencer. Thomas begat William who begat Julian. Julian Spencer had 3 daughters – Anne who eventually produced George Washington, while her sister Marjory went on to eventually produce Joey & Ivy Dutton!

Here is the Spencer Line to George Washington

1 Henry Spencer Say 1420 – 1478 of Badby, Northamptonshire, England
…. +Isabella Lincoln Say 1420 – England
…. 2 Thomas Spencer 1450 –
………. +Margaret Smith 1450 – England
……….. 3 William Spencer 1470 –
…………….. +Agnes Heritage 1470 –
……………… 4 Julian Spencer 1490 –
…………………… +William Wilmer 1490 –
…………………… 5 Anne Wilmer 1510 –
………………………… +Henry Thornton 1510 – 1583
…………………… 6 Anne Thornton 1540 – 1614 of Newnham, England
……………………… +William Dickens 1540 – 1583
…………………… 7 Anne Dickens 1570 – 1637 of Great Creaton, Northamptonshire, England
……………………… +John Twigden 1570 – 1610
…………………… 8 Amphyllis Twigden 1602 – 1655 Spratton, Northamptonshire, England
……………………… +Lawrence Washington 1602 – 1653 Sulgrave Manor, Northhamptonshire, England
…………………… 9 John Washington 1634 – 1677 Prob Purleigh, Essex Co, England
……………………… +Anne Pope 1634 – 1668
………………….. 10 Lawrence Washington 1659 – 1698 Westmoreland Co, Virginia
…………………….. +Mildred Warner 1671 – 1701 Prob Warner Hall, Gloucester Co, Virginia
………………….. 11 Augustine Washington 1694 – 1743 Wakefield, Westmoreland Co, Virginia
……………………… +Mary Ball 1708 – 1789 Lancaster Co, Virginia
………………….. 12 George Washington 1732 – 1799 Pope’s Creek, Westmoreland Co, Virginia

And here is the Spencer line to Ivy Dutton. So at step 5 above is where the tree branches off in a different direction.

1. Henry Spencer
2. Thomas Spencer
3. William Spencer
4. Julian Spencer
5. Marjory Wylmer (sister of Anne Wilmer in step 5 above, daugher of Julian Spencer at step 4)
6. Katherine Underhill
7. John Garner
8. Thomas Garner
9. John Gardner
10. Thomas Gardner
11. Parish Gardner
12. William Gardner
13. Mary Gardner (married James Downing)
14. Samuel Downing
15. James Downing
16. Manora Downing Hendry
17. Landus Earl Downing
18. Shirley June Downing (Dutton)
19. Joseph Dutton
20. Ivy Dutton Superstar

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Here’s some cool links to the Spencer dynasty:
The Royal Families of England – Spencers
The Spencer Family
Genealogy of Spencers
Detailed article on Spencers
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January 11th marked the day Holly and I chose to start a 21 day fast called the “Daniel Diet“. It consists of only vegetables, fruits, nuts, and water. It is a ‘vegan’ diet, in other words, which is based on the story of Daniel in the Bible and meant to affect the body, soul, and spirit.

For Holly to take on fasting is pretty remarkable since she comes from foodie background. Fasting and Fooding are like total opposite frames of mind. But she has taken the lead and shown strong resolve to stick to the plan even when pizza and soda are paraded in front of her face (like at Check-e-Cheese’s yesterday). It was Chucky versus Daniel - and Daniel won! Holly even paid for everyone’s meal, yet stuck to her strict vegan diet. I was impressed! The chaos alone of that place was enough to send me running to a comforting warmth of a slice of Pepperoni.

Not long ago, the topic of fasting came up amongst a cull of foodies and the reaction was as if we’d served up a plate of BBQ roaches. “Fasting? Ew, gross!” they hissed while deflected the facts away with a scrumptious meat platter. “Why would someone want to do that?! That doesn’t sound healthy!”

Of course, our munching companions were just a little overfed on the outside while nothing but skin and bones in their soul. They need only feed their starving intellect by consulting The Google, a nearby bookstore, or even a Bible to find a vast buffet of information on fasting. It is a practice that has been around for thousands of years and the benefits are well-documented and even touted by many modern physicians. I recommended these couple of snack-sized websites on the topic of Fasting:

• Good overview of Fasting and the benefits
• Another good brief overview

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January 11th: Blast from the Fast!

The main reason I’m telling you about our adventures with the Daniel Fast is what happened on the very first day. I am still trying to make sense of all this stuff that happened on Wednesday, but I can tell you it was a day full of suprises! We must have upset the apple cart in the spiritual realm because several things – good and bad – were unleashed within 24 hours.

First, Holly attempted to pay a $50 parking fine, but discovered it was not listed in the parking-fines database. It seems to have disappeared! Awesome! Then before the morning was over she was informed an extra $1000 bonus would be added to her next paycheck. More awesome!

Big blessings for her.

As for me, well,…

Around 2:00 pm I began working on a Vegan Chili and some gluten free Smoothies. By 4:00 pm I was beginning to have trouble breathing and breaking out in a rash. By 6:00 pm I was having an asthma attack. I took my usual meds for asthma and finally just went to bed about 9:00 pm. hoping I’d be fine by morning.

Nope, no sleep tonight. At 1:00 am I’m awakened by a stabbing pain in my left side. It doesn’t subside and is slowly getting worse over the next hour.

I recognize this pain as a kidney stone which happened to me in 1995. Almost the same scenario too – middle of the night, stabbing pain, try to find relief, give up and go to the hospital. People say that trying to pass a kidney stone is as close as pain gets to birthing a baby. I haven’t birthed a baby, but I can certainly testify it is hurts in waves and feels like an alien inside of you is trying to stab its way out. But having been through this before, I didn’t freak out and chose not to wake up Holly. Instead I drove myself to the hospital because I knew they would just knock me out with some drugs. No need for both of us to have a miserable night. She would meet me at about 8:00 in the morning.

Sure enough, they Cat-scanned me and determined it was a kidney stone. The nurse and doctor (both females) were super nice and professional. They injected me with something wonderful and I was in a place of bliss for a few hours. Everything happened just like I anticipated, including no pain when I awoke.

But bliss was quickly replaced with dozens of blemishes all over my body. By 9:00 am I broke out in hives from head to toe. It was terrible! I’ve never experienced anything like this before! And so would go the next 3 days as I wrestled with some kind of Anaphylactic Shock. Almost no sleep for a total of 64 hours (that alone almost made me insane) and endless itching, repeated asthma attacks, and constant nausea. This type of thing usually occurs after an insect sting, or after injection of a specific drug such as penicillin, or occasionally after eating a particular food. As one description online says:

“During an anaphylactic reaction, the body releases massive amounts of histamine and other powerful chemicals in response to the presence of the allergen. The blood vessels widen, causing a sudden, severe decrease in blood pressure. Other symptoms can include hives (itchy, raised, red patches on the skin); swelling of the lips, tongue, and throat; abdominal pain; diarrhea; and difficulty breathing due to bronchospasm (narrowing of the airways in the lungs).”

Yup, that’s pretty much what happened. No, that is not my arm in the picture, but that is precisely how my arm looked (and pretty much everywhere else). Even my lips were swollen. I chose to stay indoors that day because I looked like a red-spotted mutant creature with big red lips. Didn’t want to scare anybody.

So that’s was my experience with the Daniel Diet – a Kidney Stone and massive allergic reaction all in one day! Not fun.

…………………………………………….

Sunday the symptoms finally start to fade. Monday morning I’m back to normal.

HUGE thanks to Raul and Arturo for visiting and bringing some chicken soup over. Also thanks for taking care of Ivy Friday night! I think she really enjoyed going to the Washateria!

Also, thanks Holly for the full coverage insurance that will pay almost all of this doctor bill! What a relief that is!

I still don’t know what caused the reaction. Was it the Chili? The Smoothie? Or was it the pain-killers the doctors injected into my system. This is yet to be determined. Or maybe I’m just allergic to vegans.

Anyway, that was my experience with the Daniel Diet. I didn’t survive. Well, I mean I didn’t continue doing the diet. Sunday I indulged in some of that pizza at ChuckECheese. Holly is sticking to the diet, and I will probably get back on board this weekend. But first, a trip to the allergist is in order.

It is weird that all happened on the same day we started the Fast.

I came across a program on TV the other day about clutter and learned a few interesting things. It wasn’t about just clutter in the house or office, but more about clutter in the soul. Often the two go hand-in-hand. In fact, the main point was that clutter usually causes problems within the soul, …or vica versa. Since I’m endlessly fascinated with human behavior and psychology and all that jazz, I found the program very fascinating and insightful. I actually took notes! How weird is that? Now I have a few more sticky notes on clutter cluttering up my desk.

I’m really glad that TV seems to be giving a lot of attention given to this issue these days. Here’s some interesting points I garnered from the program:

• Clutter is LITTER – It is pollution plain and simple. Cluttery people do not see (what everyone else can clear see) that he/she is polluting their own environment. It is offensive, unsightly, and unpleasant. Subconsciously it may “stink” or even register as foul or dangerous in the mind of a visitor, not unlike taking a trip to a garbage dump or a trashy side of town.
• Clutter Diminishes Clarity – Like dirt on a windshield, clutter will decrease your ability is see and focus on what is important. It can even create blind spots and cause you to miss your turn or even have a wreck.
• Clutter Robs Valuable Time – It takes time and energy to dig through stuff to find what you need. Or if we are talking about the soul, it wastes months or even years of years having to dig through disorganized priorities, principles, wrong-thinking, and all the other stuff that clutters up the mind.
• Clutter Drains Energy and Creativity – By the time you are finished dealing with a mountain of insignificant crap, who has the energy to be creative?
• Clutter Impedes Movement or Progress – Whether you are talking about clutter in the mind or soul, too much junk in the way is going to slow you down. Waaaay down! In fact, it can even slow you down to the point you wake up dead one day and realize you’ve just wasted most of your life on nothing valuable.
• Clutter Detracts from Efficiency and Effectiveness – Just like getting through an airport with a carry-on, you can move much freer, faster, and stress-free through life if you are carry less baggage.
• Clutter Exposes our Mess to the World – Our outer environment is a reflection of what’s going on inside us. Clutter is often a visible manifestation of a compulsion, self-absorption, or an attempt to fill an emotional void. Don’t want anyone to know your business? Then don’t be a clutter bug because otherwise you are hanging a sign around your neck that says, “I have dysfunction in my life.”
• Clutter is a Talisman – Think you are more sophisticated than someone that believes in charms and magic? Think again. Clutter is usually all about possessing something that has power that you “might need someday” to rectify a situation, or it may possess great emotional power that conjures up feelings of love and sentiment when clutched.
• Clutter is Valued junk but Discarded People – People that clutter tend to see items of great value in a pile of trash and disorganized junk and therefore keep it all. But they tend to rarely treasure their relationships with people and see nothing but fault or intrusion. Clutterers will collect junk like a priceless idols of gold, but dismiss people as if worthless trash.

The main point of the TV program, however, was that clutter interferes with relationships. Sometimes cluttery people send a very clear message to the other people in their life: preserving, storing, nurturing, and valuing my stuff (whether it actual stuff, or time and space), is far more important than preserving my relationship with you. You are down the list somewhere. Maybe not completely devalued, but certainly diminished in importance. The unspoken message continues with instructions: “If you want to be in a relationship with me, you must accommodate and schedule your time with me around my clutter just as I do. If you don’t like it, then there is the door… um, just be careful not to trip over those boxes and piles of magazines and laundry on your way out. Sorry sweetie, I’d love to spend time with you, but it is my way or the highway. Adios if you disagree.”

Most of the time the clutter-bug doesn’t even realize he/she is sending out the message, and the recipient doesn’t consciously hear it, but nonetheless it is felt and received.

As the program continued, the host defined “Soul Clutter” as a collection of ‘junky’ emotions, habits, history, values, beliefs and principles that fill up your mind and daily life and impede you from enjoying your full potential in relationships, personal, and professional life. I found that interesting so I went to Thesaurus.com and found these additional tidbits on the word “clutter”:

• Synonyms: “Chaos, confusion, derangement, disorder, hodgepodge, huddle, jumble, litter, medley, melange, muddle.”
• Antonyms: “calm, harmony, normality, order, organization, quiet, system”

The program also went on to describe the FOUR different types of clutter as defined by Teri Lynn Mabbitt, a professional organizer in Denver:

• Technical: Actual collection of stuff that fills up storage space and spills over into living/working space.
• Life changes: Clutter caused by a new baby, a death in the family, a move or anything responsibility or demand on your time that has thrown a life out of balance.
• Behavioral/psychological: Clutter caused by depression, attention deficit disorder, low self-esteem or lack of personal boundaries.
• Time/life management: Clutter caused by the need for better planning.

Even our conversation can be littered with clutter. If you are trying to share information or an idea with someone else, the message can often get lost in a confusing mess of descriptions, questions, and lots of other unnecessary verbage. More information can be found here: Project-Presentation.

Good stuff! Great program. Who knew weekend Television could be so educational?

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Want to learn more? Check out these links I found through Google. Some profound insights here…

• Chronic Disorganization Scale – yes there is actually a way to measure your clutter-ness.
• Clutter and Depression – Clutter is sometimes a sign of depression, lethargy, or lack of caring.
• Lighten Up – cleaning clutter not as a burdensome chore but as a transformational experience.
• “Is what you are holding on to holding you back?” – Advice on how to purge.

Top 6 clutter excuses:

1. ‘If I get rid of this [sentimental object], I’ll feel guilty’
2. ‘I might need this some day’
3. ‘I think this brooch/chair/knickknack might be valuable again’
4. ‘If I move the bills off the table, I’ll forget to pay them on time’
5. ‘I want these shoes to go to a good home, but Goodwill is out of the way.’
6. ‘I want to de-clutter, but I can’t get motivated and I don’t have time.’

Two more good links:

• Top 6: Here’s another list only shorter and more to the point.
• Sink Reflections: Highly recommended!! 4 1/2 stars out of 5 on Amazon. Perhaps the best book ever written on the topic of clutter. I love her acronym C.H.A.O.S (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome).

And even more links. Warning: these are harsh! Not for the faint of heart or conflict avoidant:

• Clutter is an orgy of consumption. Hoarders are gluttons. Just like an over-eater, the glutton will craves stuff, feeds his appetite through constant consumption, and stores the excess junk the same as our bodies store excess fat.
• Clutter is a type of talisman: The objects clutched are held as a type of “charm” in case of future need.
• It’s not about stuff! Ouch! This article describes clutter as a means for a person to hide, evade, or avoid dealing with soulish issues. It also says clutter is a sign of a lack of faith that God or Life will provide what you need when you need it. It also describes clutter as a clear sign of rejection of others and relationships.

Okay, the Holiday season is officially over. I have to be honest, in November I started marking the calender with all the activities and events we had coming up and I cringed with apprehension just a little. This was the busiest Holiday season I’ve ever experienced! It seemed a bit overwhelming, but I figured just take it one day at a time and I’d survive. Sure enough, I survived and had some fun along the way.

Here’s lots of pictures taken in the month of December:

First up, we tried to get the dogs into the Christmas spirit, but I don’t think they appreciated it too much. Also, we had a little elf keep showing up in the house each day and report all behaviors back to the North Pole. Little tattletale!

On December 11th, we participated in the YMCA’s Jingle Bell Run. The weather was perfect and lots of people showed up for the race. Holly and Ivy participated as well! Okay, she, Ivy, and Arturo walked the whole way, but they completed the entire 5k!

Holly’s employer put on their 2nd annual Christmas party. This time it was at the upscale (and expensive) Vic & Anthony’s Steak House in downtown Houston. Even their website is fancy! Check it out: Vic & Anthony’s Steak House. The place looks and feels like Big Texas Oil Money. We enjoyed classy treatment from start to finish with valet parking, free mixed drinks at the bar, and string orchestra (sextet) playing a variety of music, and a four-course meal (steak, of course).

On December 23rd we celebrated Arturo’s birthday with a Circus tent cake and some clown cake-pops. Jane, Amber, Ivy, Holly, 2 dogs, and myself were in attendance of the event. Happy Birthday, Arturo!!

Then we left Arturo to babysit Ivy (thanks Arturo!) while the rest of us headed to the Toyota Center for a show…

Holly treated us to a night of hard rocking Christmas music by Trans-Siberian Orchestra. I’ve heard about this show for many years but never had seen them in concert. It turned out to be just as elaborate as I heard! For 2 1/2 hours we were treated to a dazzling display of lasers, smoke, pyrotechnics, video backdrops, elevated stages, and tons of ever-changing lights. The music, of course, was all Christmas tunes ground out on electric guitars and thundering drums. An orchestra and choir were in accompaniment. The performers looked like something out an 80′s hair band with spandex, high heels, and constant hair flipping… and that was just the guys! Overall, the show was a bit too long, but we enjoyed it thoroughly. This was the best heavy-metal hair flipping Christmas rock opera I’ve ever seen!

The next morning we trotted off to the airport to head to Northwest Arkansas. We encountered a problem right from the start … ALL parking lots were completely full! Have you ever heard of an airport running out of parking spaces?? Even the Park & Ride places had no room for us! We scrambled to figure out what to do, then finally found a hotel that was renting out their parking spots for $10 a day. We grabbed that deal and made our way to terminal. It was a close! By the time we checked in our bags, passed through security, and scurried down to our gate they were already boarding the plane. The flight was full, but we still managed to get 3 seats together. So off we headed to Tulsa, OK (southwest doesn’t fly to Fayetteville, so we would drive from Tulsa). This was Ivy’s 10th time flying (or thereabouts), so she is really racking up the mileage!

We managed to cram a lot of things into a short time, including a trip to the new Crystal Bridges Museum – a collection of art accumulated by Alice Walton (daughter of WalMart founder Sam Walton). Very impressive!! You wouldn’t think you’d find a world-class art museum in the Ozarks, but there it is. They even have several trails around the property that you can explore and find sculptures tucked away among the foliage. We didn’t see everything mainly because we were pressed for time, plus we had a child that wanted to touch everything. Preschoolers and Fine Art do not mix very well. So we will just have to see the rest of the museum on our next visit.

We made a jaunt up to Jim Gooing’s house on the Missouri state line and enjoyed some muchies and horse riding. He has 1 horse, 2 ponies and 2 miniature horses. Ivy and I and I all take a spin in a little sled pulled by one of the miniatures. What a hoot! Ivy loved it. Later, I hopped up on the full-sized horse and went for a little solo ride down the dirt road. That was fun, but a lot of work! What a head-strong horse! He only wanted to go where he wanted to go which was mainly off to the side of the road to eat plants.

Later that night was our official family Christmas get-together at my sister’s house in Fayetteville. This was the first time we’ve ever had our annual Christmas gathering in Fayetteville. Usually… no make that always… we gathered in Harrison which is about 1 1/2 hours farther east. But since several family members have moved to northwest Arkansas and it is much easier to fly in and out of XNA we decided to have our get-together in Fayetteville. Good choice! Everyone was happy with the decision. We enjoyed a nice dinner, chatted and caught up on all the latest gossip, then tore into all the presents. My sister Glenda and her husband Lloyd hosted the event at their new home (thanks guys!), and there were probably 25 or so folks in attendance. Full, merry, and fun. Ivy got to play with all her cousins which she seem to really enjoy.

On Sunday (Christmas Day), we checked out of the hotel (after jamming all the gifts received into our luggage), and had breakfast with Glenda and Lloyd and Joey’s Mom, before going to a candlelight service at Christian Life Cathedral. Afterwards, we went to a movie (We Bought a Zoo) while Shirley took care of Ivy back at the house. Joey and I drove around Fayetteville a little bit, checking out some old sights, and seeing what was new in town. The place has grown out a bit, but still feels very much the same as when I moved away in 1995. The house that Joey and I rented, right behind a sorority a couple blocks from campus was gone. That was a little sad to see, but those girls always really wanted more parking space, so eh.

Later in the afternoon we headed back to Tulsa for our return flight to Houston. Traveling on Christmas Day has become somewhat of a tradition. That wasn’t planned, but several times now I’ve taken flights on Christmas Day and it turns out that is an excellent time to fly. The airports are not crowded and, let’s face it, there’s really not much else to do on Christmas Day. Everything is closed! So catching a movie and catching a plane are two excellent things to do on a lazy Christmas afternoon. Our flight was quick and uneventful. We got home around 9:30pm, tired, but feeling like it was a good trip.

The next day we opened presents from ourselves, friends, and from Holly’s family, although we didn’t see Jane or Todd or Ivy’s cousins (members of Holly’s family that live here in Houston). The same was true on Thanksgiving. This year during the holiday season no contact at all from Todd – no gift, no card, no call, nada.

On December 30th, Holly and I dropped Ivy off at our friend Amie’s house for some great playtime with her buddy Zak, and then we celebrated our 5th Anniversary with a nice dinner at Texas Roadhouse. On the 31st we had a little birthday party at the park for Raul who turned half-a-century old. Then, for New Year’s Eve later that night we just relaxed and watched TV. Holly went to bed before midnight, but I was curious about the activities downtown at Discovery Green Park so I went to check it out. Too many people!! I didn’t hang around very long. Instead I went back home and watched the fireworks at Discovery Green on TV. Good enough for me! Off to bed at 12:30 am.

So what comes next? Settle back down into a routine and enjoy the quiet for awhile. There will be plenty of things to fill up my schedule in the months ahead including finding the right pre-school in which to enroll Ivy (that process starts in February or March). Of course, there are taxes to be filed as soon as possible. The possibility of a ski trip in early March is in the works. I’m not sure if that is going to happen or not, but I will be very happy if it does! And round and round it all goes. It will be Christmas again before you know it. Well, that is if the world doesn’t end December 21st like the Mayan calendar predicts. If not, I’ll see y’all next year!

Last Sunday we headed downtown to try to snap some pictures for a Christmas card, but unfortunately it rained most of the afternoon. So we didn’t get any outdoor shots by the GIGANTIC Christmas tree in front of the Mayor’s office building. Instead we snapped some pictures in front of the much smaller Christmas tree in our house. Then we decided to check out the new Phoenicia Specialty Foods store and grab some lunch while we were there. Here’s some of the pictures we snapped that day…

By the way, I put two and two together and figured out what all the fireworks were about last Friday night. My dogs came running for safety when the sounds of gunfire and bombs started going off. I wasn’t sure what all the ruckus was about, but later realized it was the lighting of the Christmas tree downtown. They usually make a big party out of it. Holly went last year, but this time around we both completely forgot all about it. Looks like somebody captured it on video though.

This year Thanksgiving Day activities were a bit different than normal. We thought we’d try something different and spend the morning volunteering at 33rd Annual Thanksgiving Big Feast sponsored by the CityWide Club of Houston. Several thousand people showed up for the event, and in fact there were more volunteers than they actually needed. So we really didn’t do much of anything. It was still kind of nice to see all the people and just in such a positive environment. They actually had many volunteers stand along the walkway and applaud and cheer people as they came in the door. Later we got in line as well and walked through a gauntlet of “Happy Thanksgiving”, high5′s, applause. It was like being a celebrity and walking the red carpet! Kind of fun.

The bad part is the car was towed while we were at the event. I parked in a spot with a meter, but didn’t look closely enough and see that the City of Houston had marked this zone special just for the day for the Thanksgiving Parade. So 4 hours later we return to find the car missing. They didn’t even put a notice up telling where or how to find the car. Actually, I wasn’t even sure if had been towed – maybe it had been stolen?! But no, Holly did some digging on the internet and figured out where the car had been taken. When all was said and done it cost $270 to get it back. Thanks City of Houston for sticking it to us on Thanksgiving Day with your half-ass notice taped on the side (not visible from the street) of the parking meter saying specially zoned for today! Oh, and you’re welcome for our donated time at your Feast too.

I like living downtown, but I have to admit you’ve got to be careful or you’ll get ticketed of fined over the stupidest little things. And those fines aren’t cheap! Expect to pay upwards of $100 for a parking violation. Plus, the Tow trucks are always circling around like vultures waiting for any opportunity to kidnap your car and hold it hostage until you pay. Downtown Houston you are kind of schizophrenic – sometimes you’re pretty cool with your free concerts and great events, but then again sometimes you really suck with your petty fines and pain-in-the-butt parking nightmares.

Oh well, whatever. That’s life in the Big City.

It is officially the Holiday season. We’ve got a whole plate-full of things to do between now and Christmas. Happy holidays!

For several years, I’ve wanted to visit New England in the fall – to see in person those wonderful hues of orange, rust, red and yellow which grace the covers of travel magazines towards the end of summertime. Living in Arkansas for 3 years intensified this desire, as there were enough of the right types of trees there to get a short show of color every October, as well.

So, this July I decided to just do it. To buy plane tickets and take a driving tour of New England. I decided to take Ivy with me, in the hopes that she is getting old enough to vaguely remember doing this kind of thing (with gaps in her memory being filled in by lots of photographs, of course). A few weeks later, I asked Mom to come along, so that we could make it a 3-generation trip and future set of memories. She’s wanted to go as much as I have, so the answer was a definite yes. We got logistics settled, and flew into and out of Manchester, New Hampshire from October 5 – 11th.

First stop – Maine!
I was determined to hit all the states in the upper right corner of the map (thus leaving only lonely North Dakota on my list of states to go to), and even though it was “out of the way” to the hotel of our first night, we hung a left out of Manchester, and headed towards Portland, Maine. Along the way, we got a little turned around, and there were no signs announcing that we’d crossed from New Hampshire into Maine, and so we didn’t go as far up the coast as planned, and instead landed at Kennebunk. From there, we headed south (it was about 5:30 pm, and beginning to get dark), but didn’t get any further than Wells, Maine before our stomachs told us it was time to eat NOW.

With cellphones low on power, I told Mom to look for a diner of some kind, figuring there’d be outlets along the walls where we could charge up while eating. Sure enough, Mom spotted a place on the seaside of the road, and we pulled in. I noticed an “As seen on Food Network” sign hanging on the wall outside, and thought this could be a lovely surprise. Sure enough it was! The aptly-named Maine Diner is apparently, very highly-regarded, despite having a rather plain look to it. This being New England, I determined to get a lobster roll. Mom spotted “lobster pie” on the menu, and got that. Wow, good stuff! Now I know what lobster is SUPPOSED to be like. YUM! With our bellies filled and phones recharged, we continued on south into Massachusetts and our hotel south of Boston.

Day Two: Boston
On Thursday, we woke up and tromped around Boston a little bit, including stops at the Bunker Hill Monument and the USS Constitution, and a couple circles around the Boston Commons. Our brief partial-day tour of the city convinced me that a return trip and at least 3 days was really needed to see more of what we wanted to see. While in town, we also met up with a friend of mine named Mary whom I’ve known online for awhile, through a bulletin board for expectant mothers at iVillage.com. Her son, like Ivy, was originally supposed to be an August baby, but he arrived on the scene early as well. This was out first time meeting in person, even though we’d been “talking” for about 4 years already. Oddly enough, I found out that Mary’s father in law owns the Maine Diner — she commented on that after I posted a photo on Facebook, of Ivy and I under the awning outside the restaurant the night before. What a small world!

From Boston, we pointed the car south and headed for Hyannis, on Cape Cod. Ivy, for the record, was doing great, especially for a 3-year-old sitting in a car for hours on end. The portable DVD player I bought before we left proved to be a great help, but she was also very good with looking out the window and napping, or singing to her dolls and otherwise keeping herself occupied while the adults gawked at the scenery whizzing past them on the freeway.

We arrived after sunset, so couldn’t really see much that evening, though one difference jumped out at me from other trips to other coasts. You can’t tell there’s a major body of water nearby until you are right there on the beach. It’s weird, because thick evergreens block any views from the major road through the Cape, and then there are densely-populated (or “Thickly Settled” as the signs around town said) areas between the trees and the water. Unlike going to Galveston where trees thin out and you can smell the warm Gulf, or California, where it tapers down towards the sea and you can see things miles away (minus smog, of course). That just struck me as a little odd.

So, we were hungry, and wanted to get all the way out to Provincetown, but that wouldn’t fit in in the morning. We unloaded our stuff, hopped back in the car, and drove out to the tip of the Cape to have dinner at Fanizzi’s, which was wonderful. It’s right on the bay, and part of the restaurant is actually out over the water on stilts. It was about 45° when we arrived, so it finally “felt” like it was supposed to. Around 10:30, we headed back, making the 45-minute drive back to the hotel room, and we all crashed pretty hard.

Day Three: Cape Cod and the southern coastline
We woke up the next morning and finally got to see what a charming town Hyannis is. Lots of little shops and a lot more activity during the day than at night. We ate breakfast at a tasty place where everything was fresh and local. It would have been nice to have another day here as well, but this was a “sampler platter” of a trip, so we were unable to linger long. Mom and I both wanted to see a lighthouse on the Cape, so I did a little quick research and found one on the Atlantic side, halfway between Hyannis and Provincetown: the famous Nauset Lighthouse, which can be found on bags of Cape Code Potato Chips.

This was the first time we actually saw the Atlantic on this trip, and let me say it is a totally different experience from Galveston. There is no fishy/shrimpy smell, and the water is cold. The sands are softer, nearly white and don’t stick to you. There aren’t dunes, but rather cliffs of sand (which are not easy to scale back up) and there weren’t any oil rigs dotting the skyline. Pretty darned nice! Oh, and the lighthouse is awfully impressive, too!

We’ve collected some pretty good books and videos over the years dealing with marriage. Check out this video by Mark Gungor… funny stuff!

For lots more of his videos go to YouTube and search “Mark Gungor”.

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One of my favorite books was “Love & Respect”. Men often define love differently than their wives, while women often don’t know how to define respect. Here is an exert from the book:

Kelly wondered if her husband, Steve, would remember their 10th anniversary. Some years he had forgotten. But, this year, he remembered. He had found just the right card, and he was sure it would be a great anniversary. When he handed her the card, she beamed from ear to ear. But when she read it, her countenance turned sour and dark.

“It’s not bad . . . for a birthday card,” she scowled.

Steve stiffened at her anger. He meant well. What was written on the outside was great, but he had failed to read the inside. “Hey, an honest mistake. Give me a break.”

“An honest mistake? You just don’t care. You are so unloving!”

Now he was miffed. “Hey, give me a break.”

“You buy me a birthday card on our 10th anniversary, and you expect me not to be upset? I’d rather you hadn’t bought me any card at all!”

Feeling disrespected, he coldly said, “Fine. I’m going to the office.”
Love and respect

This conflict isn’t unique. Kelly felt unloved, and Steve felt disrespected, even contemptible in his wife’s eyes. When Decision Analysts, Inc., did a national survey on male-female relationships, one question for men read:

“Even the best relationships sometimes have conflicts on day-to-day issues. In the middle of a conflict with my wife, I am more likely to be feeling:

A. That my wife doesn’t respect me right now.
B. That my wife doesn’t love me right now.

Not surprisingly, 81.5 percent of men chose “A.”

The survey only substantiated what I had already discovered in my years of working with married couples: Women need to feel loved, and men need to feel respected. This may explain why Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:33 that a husband must love his wife and a wife must respect her husband. Both commands are unconditional. The hard part is that respect comes more easily to men, and love comes easier to women.

Website: Love & Respect

As I sit here finishing up left-over homemade 3-alarm vegetarian chili (enough descriptors for you? there’s a reason for that…), I think I’ve hit a turning point on my current quest for body improvement. It’s come on the heels of lots of work, struggle, lurching, sweat, pain, stalls and some yo-yoing, but it’s good.

Today is day 7 of my 10-day “Daniel Fast.” Let me emphasize that this is a fast, and not a diet, or something I’m doing to lose weight, specifically — though that is happening. The difference between the two is that a fast is generally done for religious or spiritual reasons which are not often weight-loss related, and it indicates abstention from certain items for specific reasons. I have done these before, as a way of demonstrating that I CAN “go without” but recently it occurred to me that God really didn’t bring us into this world to become experts at “going without” — he wants us to live abundant lives, full of excellence. So taking the ascetic approach to fasting was probably not the best way to go about it.

Instead, I studied and searched, and it was revealed to me that fasting is one way of stepping away from things IN this world — by separating yourself from earthly draws, your sum total intake (be it food, relationships, entertainment, whatever) becomes more pure, more spiritual. In essence, you remove impurities from your life, and come out a more refined, wholesome (as opposed to hole-some) person, which is what I believe God really wants for us, while we occupy these bodies.

So, a few months ago, someone at work mentioned they were doing a “Daniel Diet.” I’d never heard of it and didn’t give it any thought, until just recently, when it resurfaced, along with the message to “investigate me — you will learn something you need to know!” I did, and that’s when the revelation about removing impurities came to light. The fast itself comes straight from the book of Daniel, right at the beginning in Chapter 1. Daniel and his friends Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego had been hauled off to Babylon by King Nebuchadnezzar as part of Babylon’s pummeling of Judah (check out the book of Jeremiah — very interesting read about this time of judgement), and they were being held/trained for use in the royal courts.

King “N” saw their value, and wanted to integrate it into his kingdom, but Daniel and The Three did not want to step INTO that world, including eating the King’s food, as decreed for all. While being held captive, Daniel made a deal with his royal keepers to let him and his men eat food that was part of their religious beliefs for 10 days, and to then compare their appearance to those who had eaten the royal food. After the 10 days, sure enough Daniel and The Three were deemed to look healthier than the others who had feasted on food of their captors, and they were not required to eat as the Babylonians did, and God caused Daniel to see and understand visions, which eventually proved to be his ticket to freedom.

So, the Daniel fast is one which follows the guidelines set forth as to what to eat. It’s not just a list of foods, and really it could have been ANY kind of diet. What’s more important than the effect on the body (positive though it may be) is what you demonstrate in the form of consecration to God — that you show you are willing to forgo the “richness” of the world around you, in order to have a more pure existence. Sure it’s a small thing, but it’s a thing nonetheless, and I need to do more of that kind of thing.

I won’t be adopting this particular list of foods for a lifetime, but it HAS opened my eyes to several things. There are, generally speaking, much better ways to do everything I do. Better ways to eat, better ways to focus on the truly important things in life, better ways to exercise, better ways to decide who should be in my life, and what I should do with it. The goal is excellence, and the result is abundance. I’d rather be abundantly happy and prosperous in all areas of life while taking in less “garbage” than make only my tongue and curiosity for gossip happy while living a live of sub-par standards.

In the past I have gone hard-core with very restrictive diets (low cal, low carb, low fat, 100% fasting for 8 days even — no food at all) and I’m not really moving as fast on changing my body as I think I should. I recently had 3 months of pretty intense regular exercising, and the result was a negligible change in weight (though pretty good inches lost). I’m still 100# more than I should be, easily, and while some things have improved, it’s not an “excellent” improvement. I believe that now I have the key for how to get going on improving this part of my life, and it is to cut the garbage way way way down.

What I will be doing from here forward is relying not on just my own “hunches” or the latest “hey, this worked for me!” “going without” plans, but instead, I will rely on basic principles of “is this good for me?” If the answer is yes, then go FOR it. If the answer is no, then I need to walk AWAY from it, and let someone else “feed” themselves with it. All of this I am doing not just for me, but because I believe that God wants what is best for me, and I should too.

With that in mind, I am looking forward to getting meat and bread and flavored drinks back into my life this Saturday, but with a renewed sense of purpose – if it’s good for me, it’s good to eat, and will make me a better person, which will bring me to what God wants me to be.

I’ve lived in Houston almost 5 years now and still keep finding interesting things to do and explore. I’ve driven past the Bayou Bend Collections & Gardens Museum dozens of times, but finally had some time to kill one day and decided to stop. Nice place! It’s all about Ima Hogg (yes, that is her real name) and her house and gardens. Ima Hogg was mega-rich because with a name like that you’d have to be rich or your life would be filled with torment. But she had the last laugh by striking oil on her property and spending all her millions on stuff that still benefits Houstonians to this very day such as musuems, gardens, and all of Memorial Park. Thanks Ima! I hope to be as much of a Hogg as you some day!

Here’s some more information on Ima Hogg if you are interested:
Wikipedia Report on Miss Hogg
Bayou Bend on Wikipedia
Houstonian History